My First (Real) Business Meeting!

I believe I have recently mentioned that Plexus asked me to serve as its representative on the planning committee for Metro Health’s 5th Transgender Job Fair. This was my first meeting. I wanted to portray a confident businesswoman and I think I did a pretty good job.

This necklace is a favorite of mine! The pink and grey tie in so well with the blazer and, of course, my sweater dress. Pretty cool to be sitting in a room with a number of other woman and making a real contribution to the meeting. I enjoyed simply “being”, focused more on the specifics of the meeting and not even paying any mind to my attire. I believe that shows a real sign of growth for me.

I talked at great length after the meeting with one of the committee members, hopefully laying the groundwork for a possible job. I am encouraged that my networking is finally staring to gain some traction. She is presenting me to HR, so we’ll see where this all takes me.

That’s really all for this story. Came home, cleaned up, hit the gym and killed dinner for the wife and I. One great day to be me!!

Update: Since the meeting, one of the ladies at the meeting, the one I talked with extensively afterward, has in fact submitted me to the HR department to see if they had a need for someone like myself. While my resume is all me, she did submit all the information as Kandi (with the explanation as to my circumstances). If this goes any further, it was be as Kandi, interview and all. I am simply seeking some part-time work and I have no earthly idea what I would do and if they even have anything available. We shall see.



I have been told that I am an inspiration for my volunteer activities.  While I always appreciate the complement, the truth of the matter is there is no other way to have the fun I have on my budget.  We are by no means poor, but having weathered some difficulties and having put our daughters through a combined ten years of college, leaving them with no college debt (best investment ever), I have to manage my Kandi budget.  

Many others have much more resources that I do, so they can afford to shop for actual new clothes, have makeovers, photo shoots, travel and attend group gatherings.  In our social media world I look like a pauper.  I’ve read blogs by some of the more popular ladies out there, you know who they are, who do nothing but shop, travel to Vegas and the big CD events, always look like a million dollars because they have access to the best makeup artists and photographers.  Their pictures make them look like super models and they are.  But this is not reality!  Yes, they are very fortunate, but really how many us of out there can do this?  As I tell our daughters, don’t get sucked into the fantasy of what people post. The truth is something completely different.  [Editorial comment: Facebook is a root of the problems in our country.  We live in a Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, look-at-me society.  Okay grandpa, enough, I get it.]

Life in Kandi’s Land is about reality.  I am part of the 95% of you that aren’t knee deep in dough.  In order to fully realize what I want to do, I have become sort of the MacGyver of CDs.

What does a CD want?  Clothes, a wardrobe.  I have figured out how do acquire quite a deep and stylish wardrobe for pennies on the dollar.  I’ve talked about this frequently, if one is determined, you can find very high quality clothing at thrifts and consignment stores.

Acceptance.  Part of my mantra, be smart, has placed me in situations that practically insure acceptance.  Theaters.  Art museums.  Charity events.

Fun!  I have quite a bit of that.  Read my posts.  See what I have experienced.  Walk a mile in my pumps!  It’s really not that difficult.  Observe how women act.  Know your community/town.  Find those places.  Cloak yourself in anonymity when making initial contact by using email or making a call, where you cannot be seen.

Being a girl.  I have had many ultra-feminine experiences simply because I open my mouth.  I’ve had bra fittings (in both male and female modes).  I’ve had bridal fittings, quite a few.  I’ve been in the ladies room, been in dressing rooms, been zipped up by an SA, fawned over jewelry, I could go on and on.  This is not rocket science, I am not curing cancer, I am simply thinking it through, knowing how people react and view the world.

So, sit back and watch your CD MacGyver go about enjoying her life.

Update time: I have registered for The Keystone Conference. I have also submitted a workshop proposal, basically taking my blog into the real world. We shall see.

My Kind of Day!

I just love days like this! First, after some last minutes changes to my plans for the day, schedule-wise, I headed off on a few errands. The first had to do with returning some things to the cable company (I finally cut the cord!) and I so did so dressed like this….no issue. Then I returned one of my recent dress purchases, because of a bit of buyers remorse (it was way out of my budget) and principally because I could not navigate the dress without help. Every dress I buy I have to be able to get into and out of alone. Couldn’t pull it off with this one once I got it home and gave it a dry run on my own (I had help in the store).

I was pretty darn proud of my look for the day. The top and skirt, recent $1 pickups looked terrific on me and I felt great in them all day. This was simply a classic winter outfit and I could not have been happier.

The necklace and matching earrings were made by a vendor friend of mine. She makes jewelry and sells it at various venues, one of which I attend frequently. This is an industrial piece and I just love it!

After my errands, I had the most delightful time over some tea with Michelle, the wonderful leader of Plexus and one of the more engaging people I have met in a good long time. She is personality to the max, beautiful, fun, bright and an inspiration for all that she has accomplished. I am proud to be her friend and was thrilled to talk and share with her, two ladies just getting to know each other.

I then headed off to dinner with another friend, but arrived about an hour early, so I spent the time in the library next door quietly reading. I very much enjoyed that. Just slowing down and “being”.

Dinner with Alice was one of those evenings where you sit down and then get up to leave and are surprised that two and a half hours have passed! We talked, enjoyed each other’s company, had a great meal and an overall great evening. Thanks Alice!

What can I say? Great company, got the cable company out of my life, a little relaxation, all in a great outfit (love that skirt!). Thank you Michelle, Alice, Leah (my friend, the bartender where Alice and I had dinner) and the woman in the parking garage who complemented me on my coat. Thank you all!!

Outfit 105

Based on the limited Flickr feedback I get, this is clearly the favorite 2018 outfit and my second most favorited (if such a word exists) outfit over the life of Kandi. Sometimes the best outfits are tied to some blah outings. This was worn on one of my lesser outings, but boy do I love this outfit!

Obviously, the dress itself is beautiful. There is a wonderful mix of colors, pink, violet, orange, a bit of burgundy. Sundresses simply define summer, make you feel so feminine and really at peace with the world. We also must know our limitations and my back isn’t my best feature so I felt it best to add the sweater. There is quite a bit of white in the dress itself, so it became very easy to pair this white knit sweater up with the dress.

The sweater made my accessory choices pretty easy. I wanted the dress to be the focal point, I don’t like overdoing it. So I went with this lovely gold and white necklace and matching earrings. Orange was my feature makeup color.

The pink shoes are darling! Very comfortable, cute, a vintage flair and they went so well with the overall look.

It’s days like this, outfits like this, that make me so happy to be who I am! I glide, float and feel so pretty when out and about. As my post about this outing was titled, it was indeed A Pretty Sundress on a Sunny Day!

A Lovely Sunday

Last Sunday was simply a nice day. It all started with my outfit. There is something about a turtleneck that I really like (see this past Monday’s post). I really have no Adam’s Apple, so it’s not a practical issue, I just love how they frame my face. It’s hard to see on my pictures, but the blazer, a recent thrift acquisition, was spot on. The skirt, an Ann Taylor beauty was the focal point and the necklace, tights and cute booties tied everything up in a lovely bow!

I stopped for breakfast before services at a very crowded health food diner. I had a great meal and you know what? No one paid me any attention (a good thing). Then I went to services, another Sunday, another church. I know the pastor at this church, she was my “boss” at my first volunteer job with the Salvation Army. It was nice to see her again! I’m pretty sure at least half of the congregation came over to welcome me and introduce themselves. I was very happy I had gone.

Feeling too cute yet to go home, off I went to Dress Barn in quest of a specific dress (no luck), then over to ULTA to pick up some new eye shadow, nail polish and brushes. While there, one of the SAs came up to me and knew me from my work this summer at the art museum’s Kusama exhibit! You have to understand, that was months ago and we are probably a good 40-50 miles from the art museum at this ULTA. Wow! I must have made an impression. Then I got in line to check out and asked a customer if she was in line. When she realized who and what I am (my voice), she engaged me in a very sweet conversation that I am sure she would not have done otherwise. Made me feel good.

Then I went to Sally Beauty and a shoe store. I noticed a few folks were making an effort to greet me as I walked about. That also made me feel special. There is something magical about shopping for makeup, trying on shoes, just being a girl and I never, ever, take it for granted. I truly believe that my manner of presentation completely disarms any preconceived notions people may have about “my kind”.

A great workout, a very good meal, including some freshly baked bread, with the Mrs. and some playoff football all capped off the kind of Sunday I love.

Not All a Bed of Roses

Time for some reheated Saturday leftovers……

Yes, I am certainly blessed, given that I am a crossdresser.  I’ve said this before and I mean it, despite the joy I have found in Kandi, if this were “curable”, I’d be the first in line for that “cure”.  No doubt for me, being Kandi is a joyful experience.  And while I have learned so much about humanity, so much about myself, it does add a layer of complication to life that I could do without.

Many comment to me, both publicly and privately, that I appear to be living a dream life, pass well and have it great.  While I have certainly found a way to make the absolute most of who and what I am, I still frequently have my “WTF” moments.  Those moments are usually dissipated by placing that wig on (usually the final part of my preparation) and seeing that smile broadly spread across my face.  Or a warm greeting from a stranger or a friend.  All of a sudden I realize the happiness this brings me.  That may well be due to the fact that I now accept who I am, than it is to what I am doing.  With the inner turmoil gone, I can see life differently now, through rose colored glasses instead of dark shades.

As I recently posted I do photograph fairly well, usually from a distance, posing to look as good as I can, as feminine as I can.  But in no circumstance, not one single person, has ever mistaken me for a woman.  Never.  Ever.  But I have done well to make that a nonissue.

It bothers me to keep this part of me secret from so many people, friends, children, family and many others.  But life is just easier without complicating it with those that I love.  I cherish my relationship with my children.  Would they reject me if they knew?  Probably not, but just as I have no interest in being my wife’s girl friend, I have no interest in my children knowing me as anyone but their “father”, the male figure in their entire lives.  Would my friends reject me?  Some might, most probably not.  But it would certainly change the dynamic of the situation, especially since most relationships I have with my male friends have a component of sarcasm to them.

The time spent on Kandi has killed the time I used to spend on other things like reading, heavier training and/or time spent with friends.  It now takes me months to get through a book now, when I used to read one a week.  I know I don’t arrange as many things to do with my friends as I used to.  I run daily, but in my neighborhood, while I would enjoy traveling around the area to run in the parks, downtown, etc.  Running and Kandi time are huge time sponges.  Love them both….

So is my life a bed of roses, so to speak?  Absolutely not.  But given the cards I was dealt, I’ve done pretty well with them so far.  Life is certainly never boring, is it?

MIX: Pop!

Back to the art museum, the first monthly party for 2019. I finally got this outfit out of my closet and into the light of day! I had pulled this outfit together almost a year ago and just didn’t have enough opportunities in 2018, I guess, to wear it! A simple LDB and with a gorgeous blazer, easy and beautiful.

It feels great to get back out and in front of so many people. Before going to the museum, I ran a bunch of errands (dressed like this).

My first stop was to go back to one of the stores I was shopping at the other day and pick up a lovely fuchsia, cold shoulder, knee length dress I so loved! Then I stopped at the cable company and stood in line (dressed like this) to return a cable box. One nonissue after another.

Finally, I stopped at Dress Barn to buy a fabulous red dress I recently modeled, in my size. No luck……but I struck gold!

Like it? I LOVE it! While I was checking out, another customer and I started chatting and she told me how cute I looked in this dress. How sweet and just the best thing you could give me, a complement from another woman in a dress store!

After all of this it was time to get to work. I enjoyed a great dinner at the museum cafe and then had a blast all night! My “partner” for the evening (we always work in pairs) was great, her first time volunteering there. She got me, easily referred to me as “she” and was a bunch of fun. My museum work is always an ego boost, I get a great deal of complements and free drinks. This night was no exception. One drink and a bunch of hugs. The picture below is me and my new friend, Lauren. At the time of this picture, I knew Lauren for about 2 minutes! Aren’t we cute…..

Time after time, event after event, outing after outing, I never take this for granted. I am blessed beyond what I deserve.