For me, wearing a dress is literally nothing as compared to wearing my prison khakis. Yes, I am blessed to be able to go out dressed. I am blessed beyond any words to have the Angel Known as My Wife, she put up with this and my CDing (on the night I told her about what became Kandi, I said I bet you never thought you would be married to a crossdressing felon, we laughed!).
Real world, I will work to my grave and because of my massive stupidity, my wife toils at a job she hates so we have income and benefits. But there is more to the story.
Take a good luck at this picture. What do you see? How do imagine the day went leading up to this picture? Let me tell you a little about this day in the summer of 2018.
I had agreed to work the registration table at a Plexus networking event. I was thrilled to be able to wear this dress. The event was in the evening, so I didn’t begin to get ready until early afternoon. Midmorning I heard something at the door and saw the FedEx truck drive away. Then I got that punch in the gut.
After ten years of being a solid citizen, doing my time and everything required of me, the government though it might be a good time to persecute me further. For fifteen years I reported my retirement funds to them (as frequently required) and a few times over ten years I offered in writing to make reasonable restitution payments. No response. On this day, out of nowhere, they garnished all of my retirement money. All of it. After ten years of not touching it. This should have been done 15 years prior. Devastating. After all of this time, one would naturally assume these funds were available for retirement. To allow me to chart my life accordingly and to wait until I was actually close to a retirement age was simply not right (of course, I am biased).
Question. Anyone ever represent themselves in Federal court? In front of the judge who sentenced you? Who presided over the largest Federal opioid lawsuit against Big Pharma? Against the AUSA, a supposed attorney? I have and I won the battle (I will eventually lose the war). The judge agreed with almost everything out of my mouth. That and ten bucks might get you a cup of coffee at Starbucks. Now I am faced with no retirement income and if it were just me, so be it, I could live under a bridge. But they are hurting my wife who had less than zero to do with all of this and I cannot have that. I will not have that!
As an aside, I have seen the ineptitude of the government, up front and personally. The Democrats incarcerated me and The Republicans are persecuting me, so I have no allegiances. I did this to myself. I have completely accepted the responsibilities of my actions. I deserved to be punished, but not like this. The original prosecuting attorney actually spoke on my behalf during my sentencing, knowing I am an honest person, doing the wrong things for the right reason. None of that matters.
In true government fashion, they attacked me and are currently ignoring me, having now done so for a couple of years. I will soon be initiating the battle as I need to know if those funds are gone or if we can reach a settlement. The judge actually recommended we settle. The AUSA declined to do so. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about it.
So why show you this picture? This shows you what being Kandi means to me. She can lift the worst possible day and bring joy and happiness. Let me state for the record here, I have no health issues nor does anyone generally in my family (my Dad is of the age the problems he is having could be expected). Health issues and marital/family issues trump all other issues, even these, so to that extent, I am truly blessed. I seek no sympathy. I just want you to understand my framework for viewing the subject of this blog. We all have problems in our lives. This is mine. Which is why CDing creates no stress in my life, my stressors are elsewhere.
Now you know that I am a crossdresser for lack of a better term (acceptance) and a felon (forgiveness). I can tell you, from my own significant personal experience, the country is so much more accepting that forgiving. How do I know?
I have been out a good seven hundred times, never a negative experience, almost no nervous moments. Love, hugs, complements, female pronouns, smiles, you get the point.
I toil in a mindless job. Driving a truck is NOT a mindless job unless you do almost the exact thing, day in, day out, for now almost eight years. Mind numbing. But it pays the bills and does allow me to be Kandi due to my favorable schedule. I cannot find other work or a part-time job as I cannot pass a background check.
Buy me a beer and I can spin some interesting tales about my time in prison as well as my time as Kandi. I wrote what is essentially a blog while in prison. Twenty six episodes of pure gold! I have been told I should write a book (by many, many people in many, many different walks of life), my observations then were frankly both hilarious and insightful. They sit in a folder, collecting dust. My inability to navigate the online world renders me useless. While I was “down”, technology sped past me and I have never been able to catch up. I was a nonhuman for a bit over two years.
Now you have a complete understanding of me and my views on the world. Thank you for listening.