I have decided to shut the Supper Club down. It was frankly full of hassles and disappointments for me personally. COVID is a big part of this certainly, but it goes beyond that. My intention was to create a joyful space for us to gather together and to also set a positive example in the public. And in that regard, we did accomplish that. But logistical issues, scheduling, last minute cancellations and misunderstandings simply render it too much for me to take anymore. I will continue to draw inward, trying to keep more to myself and be less involved with those in the “community”. I simply continue to walk away shaking my head at the lack of mutual respect and support. My own personal experience and it is significant, is that the general public treats me so much better than our “community”. I can point to hundreds of examples of this, so I do not say this flippantly. I have been blessed with some very good friends and will simply seek outings with a smaller circle of people.
I am sure my viewpoint will evolve and I reserve the right to change my mind, but right now, I’m done. I tried.
I was excited about two outings I had planned for last Friday and Sunday. I scrapped them, just not feeling it right now.
I have talked about how Kandi is a huge time sponge and she is for sure. When dressed and what the Supper Club was intended to do was create an avenue for me to socialize. I crave socialization. After you read my post this past Saturday, being warehoused for two years created a few things for me. Once you piss away those years, you learn never to take a single day for granted, which is why I always stay busy. I also relish silence. Love it! And I always seek socialization. COVID has principally rained on that parade, which is why I founded the former Supper Club. I found out now that doesn’t really work and I have found social outlets in my real life.
Running has done that, but so has my pickleball participation (don’t laugh). Last Wednesday, I did two things. I played pickleball in the morning and Supper Club in the evening. When I played pickleball, I joined a group of about 10 people and I was clearly the youngest. I knew no one walking in, not a soul. Two hours later I had a bunch of new friends, had great conversations and was asked to join them next week. That evening, I had fun, but it was strained and as you may be able to tell, someone pissed me off (after the fact). Quite the juxtaposition. But remember, Kandi is a part of me, she is not all of me.
Every year what Kandi is evolves, I can point to that each and every of her six years. This is no different. Keep to myself or small groups. Understand and always remember that no one cares about me, only themselves and on the whole (not everyone) that is true of our society.
I am on a bit of a self imposed Kandi sabbatical right now, you will soon read about a few outings already in the books and we’ll see when I am “feeling it” again. I lost the joy, I hope to get it back.