Let’s reconsider this one.

Circumstances, we all have them.  As it relates to the subject matter of this blog, you may have a spouse.  She may be 100% supportive or completely disdain this part of you.  You may have complete freedoms as it relates to your dressing or are in either a DADT (don’t ask, don’t tell) or secretive circumstance.  You may dress but be fearful of leaving your home.  Your wife may support you dressing at home but will not allow you to leave the home.  Maybe it’s vice versa.  I could go on and on with various scenarios.

While I am blessed to have the freedoms I have as a crossdresser, there are many things I do not have.  Without divulging some of my personal circumstances, there are many things you all do daily without thought that I cannot.  I have been through hell on Earth with a business failure and the legal collateral damage it all caused.  Well over 15 years later, I still deal with it and think about it every single day.  My circumstances.

While I am by no means complaining, we are solidly middle class (although less so, as many are dealing with, COVID-19 having its’ effect on the market) and want for nothing, but my reality is that I will work until I die.  There will be no complete retirement for me.  My circumstances. 

I drive a 13 year old car, my wife drives an ten year old car.  They get us where we are going, but are certainly not luxurious.  I’ve been towed twice in the past two months. My circumstances. 

Because I am self-employed, I am unable to generate health care benefits.  So my wife has to work full time at a job she hates or at least strongly dislikes.  That kills me each and every day.  I don’t dwell on it, but it’s my reality. She accepts and understand this, but it will always bother me.  My circumstances.

Unfortunately, this is how life works.  I am told frequently how lucky I am for allowing Kandi to flourish.  I completely agree and never take it for granted.  But I am sure there are parts of your life that would make me envious, that I would immediately trade places to have.  I also know that many of you deal with far more than I could ever imagine, every day difficult.  We all have portions of our lives where we are blessed and portions we wish were better or easier.  Health, both physical and mental, are of tantamount importance.  Without that it is difficult to get through the day and puts a drain on personal resources.  If you have these, you are fortunate.  I do and am thankful for that.  With my issues and benefits, I consider myself very blessed and try to acknowledge that frequently.

Yes, I am fortunate to have the circumstances that have allowed Kandi to bring me such joy.  But for everything we get, there are things we do not get or difficulties that balance that all out.  My purpose here is one of support and to show those that have the circumstances to get out, but chose not to do so for fear of the unknown, that the world is far more accepting than you believe.  Yes, I get out (or at least used to do so).  Yes, I am accepted in doing so (or at least used to do so).  Yes, I am blessed.  My circumstances.

I’ve actually got a significant backlog of posts. I got out this past Thursday and that post won’t run for almost another month. I guess I’ve been pretty prolific in my photo shoots. Things are getting semi-normal, but I still miss life. Not MY life, I miss life. I don’t see me getting back to that full calendar of volunteering for many, many months, even years. A friend who is a volunteer coordinator for a major charity told me they have already reduced staff by 25% and another round of cuts is upcoming.

6 thoughts on “Circumstances

  1. We all face our own set or circumstances. Many facts of life are simply that…facts. It is all a question of what we do with the circumstances we find ourselves living with.

    I think that we all need to keep in mind the simple words of the “Serenity Prayer”

    God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    Courage to change the thinks I can
    Wisdom to know the difference.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, we all have circumstances indeed.
    I know for me I would love to have part of your circumstances my friend in that my spouse would have been ok with my dressing but she could not and so I’m alone.
    Many would envy that in that hey you can dress whenever and wherever you choose.
    True but I’ve lost a friend and companion over it.
    I’m not sure my feminine side will ever be gone, not likely by the way but if I could have made it work to keep her I would.
    I am blessed as well but yeah I do wish my circumstances were different
    Love ya


  3. Thoughtful and well stated Kandi. We can all find others’ circumstances that we might envy. But that is destined to make us miserable. Better to focus on the things that we do have and be happier in the long run.
    When I learned the biblical commandments of “thou shalt not covet thy neighbors’ things/wives” they were presented as great sins that will cause eternal damnation. However, as I get older and possibly wiser, (I hope) it seems to me that these prohibitions are there to show us the way to be happier here on earth. They are meant to guide us to acknowledge all that we do have and be happy about it, rather than being envious of what others have (and we don’t) and being miserable.


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