I figured with the excess downtime, I’d start a bit of a diary here. There won’t necessarily be daily entries, but whatever strikes me on any particular day I’ll blab about.
March 18, 2020 – My wife had to work and I was off, without a car (my second tow in a month). There really wasn’t anywhere to go anyway, as I was stuck home like many of us. My calendar is always full for the current and next two months, it is now almost completely clean. Once my wife headed to work, I vetted a few outfits and came to a decision in doing so. When I try on outfits, my head is all me. No makeup, no wig. I began to look more carefully at how I looked that way. I put together a few different female business suit options and a couple of church outfits. Once this all blows over, I am going to go to my first church service dressed as always, but with no wig. I am also going to attend the next Plexus function the same way. Both friendly venues and both have zero chance of anyone who know me otherwise being there. I’d now like to present myself to prospective employers (most likely in the arts community) as myself (assuming any one will give me the time of day), but dressed as a woman, thereby introducing both of my genders as options for going to work, if that were to occur. It’s easy to be brave now, so we’ll see, but I really believe I’ll do that and not look horrible. Now that salons and barber shops are closed, I may have a long mane by then. But not now. Even if I can get an interview or cup of coffee with someone, that would be a delightful experience. The shame is, it’ll be months before any of that happens, if then. Even if this were to all magically blow over, everyone is going to be so behind, there will be little time for the kind of regular socializing that we did before. 2021 any one?
I painted my toe nails, which had only clear polish on them for the past few months. Then I put on some (workout) leggings and a cute yoga top and worked out in the basement with stretching and core work. I threw one of my marathon tops over that outfit and went for a seven mile run. If I am cooped up for weeks, I’ll be unbelievably sculpted. The balance of the afternoon I wore a cute pair of black leggings, a black and white striped top (which you occasionally see in the header here outside the Rock Hall), some light jewelry and basically relaxed, before flipping back to myself when my wife got home.
I was screwing around online, trying to make a logo for this place (way too much time on my hands). What do you think? I didn’t want to pay for it, so I stopped with this one. I always envisioned using a modified version of the Candyland game logo but can’t figure out how to do that.
March 19, 2020 -I remember as a child, paging though the Sears’ catalog, particularly the lingerie section, wishing that was me. It pleases me that now I have my own lingerie drawer and wear it daily. It’s become very normal to select my panties for the day and now, during this extra time spent home, picking out the right bra for whatever I am doing that day. A sports bra to work out, a padded bra while home (alone) and then an unpadded bra for the balance of my day. Now standing in front of the mirror, maybe brushing my teeth, only in my lingerie, I can’t describe how it just makes me very happy. Life certainly is strange, what makes us happy, what creates anxiety and in my life, this did both.
A funny story. When I finally decided to become a full, fledged, card carrying crossdresser, I bought a bra, pair of panties and a slip, which I pledged to keep (I’d bought many before, but I purged frequently, almost instantly on many occasions). This was the very first purchase made on the road to finally becoming Kandi. As I was completing my purchase, in complete male mode, the lovely female cashier said how sad it was that women didn’t wear slips anymore. I smiled and thought, neither do men! What this woman saw was simply a customer, a person, not some dude nervously buying lingerie (ill fitting lingerie, as I learned more later about picking the right women’s size to fit my body and the obvious differences I deal with).
I had set up an appointment to drop a bunch of things off at my favorite consignment store the day after this. My friend, who runs the place, called and said they were closing at the end of the day. So I hightailed it across town and got my stuff in there. Obviously, being closed they won’t sell, but at least they have them and will be in inventory when they reopen.
This is a little inside baseball. For you Cleveland gals (I guess that’s only you, Sherry), Designer Consignor (Lakewood) is where I sell things and have my fellow runner friend/owner. Piece Unique (Bainbridge) is where I find the best deals once things have been there for a while and am their runway model and It’s So You (Willoughby) is where I take any visitor to town because they treat me and my guests like royalty.