Let’s take another look at this one.
This is the absolute key, you must love yourself! Listen, it took me almost 50 years to figure this all out but really, think about it. It is very difficult to give and receive love if you don’t love yourself. As I look back in hindsight, I really didn’t love myself until I finally admitted that I am in fact, a crossdresser and as an admitted crossdresser, I have become happy and fulfilled. That love allowed me to prosper in so many different ways, most of which I have talked about here.
Easy to do? No. But think about it, you get one chance at all of this, you are the best person to love yourself (yeah, I know, you are the only person, by definition, to love yourself). That good feeling about yourself really opens you up to the world. You are now not beating yourself up for your feelings, you are not behind the eight ball, so to speak, as you approach the world. Once I found that I am truly a worthwhile person, began loving who I was, I developed a great view on the world. It just changed overnight. I no longer focus on the negative, I see and experience the positive, the love that exists in this world. But it started with me.
This seems obvious, but as we all know, the guilt associated with our feelings throws a pall over how we view things. For me, it was like wearing sunglasses indoors. Everything was grey, dark. Sure I had happiness in my life, but that happiness was the result of an external stimulus. Now I come from a place that starts with internal happiness and life flows from there. The sun shines on me and it is spectacular!
Ladies, stop beating yourself up and embrace who you are, a glorious person who deserves to be happy. I am far from perfect in this regard. I still have my WTF moments, certainly not as many, but they still exist.
Recently a reader reached out to say hello, as she lives in the same general vicinity as me. We went back and forth a bit and then she said (okay, wrote in the e-mail) that this was “her fault”. That bothered me. This is not a choice. None of us can ever shake it. We may manage it. We may resist, but it’s always there, even if we are able to push it to the back of our minds or bury it inside of it. It never leaves. This is not our fault, no more that it would be our fault to be born blind, with one hand, tall, red headed or anything else you can imagine.