Getting Out and About With Pat – Epilog

I had some things I needed to do and decided to put off doing them and instead send you a guest post or two (thank you!!).  It was as good an excuse as any.  Besides I figured you could use a partial break from the other daily grind of putting out your blog (oh yeah!).

I went out again last night to the same wine bar I had been to previously.  There was a different bar tender there and a slightly different crowd.  No one chose to mix with me and I did not want to inflict myself on others but I was accepted, served and treated  nicely.  Had a great lager along with some pesto hummus.

I think that the point I was trying to reach in my series of blog posts dating back to last year was that times have changed and that while being out and about while gay has become almost universally accepted it has now also become much more commonplace for crossdressers and other trans people to get out and about with a good degree of comfort, acceptance and safety.  Just like all four of the  LGBT bar/restaurants that I used to frequent went out of business because their gay clientele could now go anywhere they choose, there is a similar evolution of acceptance working with folks like us. 

Twenty years ago there was a significant need for organizations like Tri-Ess and there was a true need for secret meetings and conventions.  While there is still a need for safe and affirming places and groups for folks in the overall transgender community, the increase in the number of visible and out folks, such as you (me?) and many others, makes it better and easier for all.  Twenty years ago many of us non-passers (which is most of us) would be afraid to go to civilian establishments.  One could not be sure what would happen or if we would be safe, accepted and not ridiculed.  Today, everywhere you go you find comfort and acceptance and that is becoming more widespread.  That cuts down on the need for secret meetings and trans only events.

I realize that it took me 9 posts to get to this point but I think it is one worth making.  “The Times, They are A-changing”.


Thank you my friend!

2 thoughts on “Getting Out and About With Pat – Epilog

  1. Kandi,

    Believe you are correct and as a subset the need for LARGE formal groups is declining. Much better to be a welcome member of a small group preferably including a few supportive – knowledgeable CIS Gals. HOWEVER, GALAS etc are still wonderful and enjoyable events.

    Marie Anne


  2. Those of us who follow Kandi and hav.e similar yens really appreciate the pleasure and joy we get from getting dressed and made up and getting out of the house. It is nice to be with others like ourselves and, in many ways even nicer to mix with the civilian population.
    Being gay has reached a very high level of acceptance. Most gay couples can go anywhere and do anything that hetero couples can do. Of course, excessive PDA is exactly that regardless of who is involved.
    For us cross dressers, we are generally poorly understood but as Kandi and some many other show the possibilities as to where we go, when we go there and what we do are endless. The need for gay only establishments or trans specific events is not as great as it was a few decades ago when we did not have to freedom we have today.


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