Be Confident

Rule no. 3 and the absolute key to my success!

There is a saying, a smile is the prettiest thing you can wear!  Confidence, pride in yourself, happiness, that smile.  It disarms people who might otherwise have an issue.  It lights up those that have empathy and/or great respect for you (believe it or not, many do).  It is a magnet for positivity.  Nothing, in really any thing we do in life, bodes well for you more than confidence.

You and I can dress about the same.  If I am confident and you are acting nervous, I will generally blend, be accepted.  Your nervousness will make those around you nervous about you.  Think about it.  In any phase of life, those with confidence, whether earned or simply exhibited, are or become successful.

My rules work.  They are battle tested.  Think about it, I don’t put myself in questionable situations (smart), I dress myself in such a fashion, stylishly, that doesn’t draw unnecessary negative attention (appropriate) and I own it, unequivocally (confident).  Time after time, witness after witness (Sherry, Dee, Rhonda, among others), confidence, which breeds an ease about me when dressed, has been the biggest part of my success in going out.

I’ve told this story before (but not sure where).  I volunteered for my first chorus fundraiser, probably four years ago.  There was a table there purchased by a CD support group.  I was there, having a blast, in my pink dress.  Someone from the support group introduced herself and asked me how I was so comfortable.  While I was nice and said supportive things, in my head I wondered what was wrong with this lunatic!  She was dressed well from the neck to her toes, but her head….five o’clock shadow and her wig pulled up over her face rendering her as Cousin It!  Really?  A significant lack of confidence or really any amount of common sense.

Own it!  You have every right to be out, to dress as you wish, to be respected as any other human being.  You do and you need to project that.  People mirror back what they see frequently.  Be confident, it means so much!

8 thoughts on “Be Confident

  1. Kandi,

    Right on. During Marie’s morning walk *skinny jeans, grey top minimum make & water bottle) exchanged greetings ;;Morning – Hi- Finger Wave & Smiles to each a total of nine GALS. All ages. Separate incidents. Will be going to Walmart in same outfit with a little more MU, Then to WALGREENS (Change GREY TOP for a Maroon Top, and off to Super Market and will change footwear from “Tennies” to Black Strappy sandals. FINALLY, CHICOS to see if anything sparks a “Need”.
    Appropriate attire, a Smile and Confidence are the key!!!

    Marie Anne


  2. Even though I do not interact with people as much when I am out (yet), I still try to be confident and act like I belong with everyone else. A smile is a powerful way to make people feel comfortable and accepting!


  3. Kandi, it is because of you and others who made this part of going out so clear that it helped me so much to just enjoy being me. To relax and yes be confidant while out.
    I still however find myself hesitating on going some places like a restaurant totally enfem but more and more I’m just doing it.
    I mean if I’m going to be a out in the world trans women I have to be confident and let others see that too and realize I’m nothing to be afraid of


    1. Rach, I would consider a restaurant a “safe” space (with certain exceptions). The significant majority of human beings would not make a scene in a restaurant. The key for me is Happy Hour, even if you don’t enjoy a cocktail. I get to establish a rapport with the bartender, which set the tone for my time there. Plus, prices are much better!

      Liked by 1 person

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