Let’s read it again! This was written a while ago, so a few things may have changed.
I cherish each and every Kandi outing I get. While I often do the same thing when out, every experience is so different. I have talked about my desire to get my mug in front of as many people as possible. On a two hour Kusama shift, for example, I see at least 400 people, usually more than that. Four hundred people that I greet, speak to, smile at and/or engage in a conversation. I don’t skimp on presentation either, so I am usually in heels. Most volunteer gigs have me standing, except that comfortable desk at the science center. It is rare that I am just quietly out.
Also when I am dressed, I am “on”. I never let my guard down. I am at minimum aware of my surroundings for safety reasons (be smart). I am also aware that I represent all of my sisters when out, I always want to leave a good impression. Kandi is a bit of a performance. Yes, she is me and I am her, no doubt. But I am also more outgoing, a bigger personality that I normally am.
Things hurt when I am dressed. Clip-on earrings, over time, become painful. I have this Clark Kent thing going on. I wear glasses, bifocals. Kandi wears contacts, purely for vanity purposes. My eyes are not conducive to wearing contacts long term. Eventually, on a long outing, my eyes tire or on occasion, become very uncomfortable. I have focusing issues in contacts. You have seen a few Kandi photos in glasses. For cost purposes, Kandi’s glasses are either distance or reading. Therefore, I cannot see well when wearing her glasses. My typical pair of glasses (bifocals) cost well over $800, so she has to make a concession.
When dressed, I treat my body differently that I would otherwise. While I am 100% comfortable using the ladies room, I avoid doing so whenever possible. Also without getting graphic, I am, shall we say, not as loosely underdressed than I would be otherwise. I don’t eat as much as I would normally when out and chose only items that I can consume in a “put together” lady-like fashion. I am often slightly physically uncomfortable when dressed. At my age, when you deny yourself the opportunity to “go” you sometimes don’t get that opportunity back again.
We have talked before about the time invested in just being out as Kandi. The work and thought associated with the day’s outfit assembly. Shaving, shaving, shaving…… Makeup and getting dressed. The commute to wherever I am going (usually at least 30 minutes one way). Returning home and how I do that. Getting cleaned up and putting everything away. That point was driven home to me as I spent a good two minutes getting ready for Mass with my wife the other Sunday, while she was still applying makeup in the car after 45 minutes in the bathroom.
Kandi is a labor of love. She lifts me to highs, different than highs associated with family and friends, but highs nonetheless. A simple complement or as we talked about in my Pandemonium post, touching and deeply meaningful complements, lift me, thrill me to no end. I am honored, blessed and exhilarated by my Kandi experiences.
But…….I am often exhausted. Tired. Beat. I still have a job, still have household responsibilities, still cherish my time with my wife, children and friends. No day is complete without daily exercise, usually a run or at least 45 minutes of activity. My male interests have gone nowhere, I still love a good game. And oh yeah, I am old!
Kandi, The Great Time Sponge, frequently exhilarating and often exhausting!