Didn’t I read this before? Sure did!

My inquisitive friend Linda asks: “What is it specifically that gives you so much joy presenting as a woman in public?”

Before I answer this question, I need to make sure you understand, before October 2014, all of this was hell.  Urges.  Self loathing.  Disgust!  Okay, now fast forward to now.  Pure, unbridled joy and happiness.  So, why?

First off, literally doing things I never dreamed possible.  I put on a beautiful dress, do my makeup, strut in heels and never, ever, think twice about doing so.  Joy.

While I never, ever “pass”, I am pretty!  I look good in a dress.  I am cute!  Joy.

Out in public over 400 times.  Zero negative experiences.  Acceptance.  Joy.

Hugs from total strangers.  Smiles as I pass by.  Friends I never dreamed I could have.  Joy.

Extended conversations with total strangers.  Not one single mention of my attire.  Joy.

Being somewhere and being recognized by some one from another place.  Joy.

Heels.  Dresses.  Cute skirts.  The perfect outfit.  Complements.  A great world we live in.  Joy.

Pride.  Love of self.  Being me.  Joy.

Being a man.  Being a woman.  Loving the woman I am.  Joy.

Purses.  Shoes.  Necklaces.  A dangling bracelet.  Earrings.  The perfect lipstick color.  Joy.

The Cleveland Museum of Art.  MOCA.  The Great Lakes Science Center.  North Coast Men’s Chorus.  Mercury Theatre Company.  Weathervane Playhouse.  Joy.

Being who I am.  Being who we are.  Meeting others with these feelings.  Joy.

There is NOTHING better than being a woman.  Yes, being a real woman comes with difficulties.  I understand that.  I have lived almost my entire life with woman.  I admire them.  My wife.  Our daughters.  Joy!


7 thoughts on “Joy

  1. A great post and a great answer to a difficult question. Uplifting and affirming and a better response than I could have come up with.
    Back around 1990 an opportunity arose through a business connection to buy a used Porsche. Steal may have been a better word because I bought it for $10K with about 25K miles on the odometer and several years later traded it in with 120K miles of the odometer and got $9K on the trade. I loved the car and my two sons loved the car. Of the almost 100k miles put on the car my wife drove it about 1 mile. She quipped, “I just don’t get what it is you see about that car or why you and the boys like it so much…it is low to the ground, hard to get into…not a smooth ride and hard to drive…and has no cup holders…”. I quipped back that “If I have to explain what I see in the hot red Porsche…I just can’t…”
    It is the same way about my joy and pleasure in dressing…putting on lingerie and hose…working on my makeup…etc. If I had to explain why I love to do all of that stuff I just can’t.


  2. Kandi,

    You have so much capsulated what I, and I am sure others, feel when we are dressed. (Except for not having daughters,) I have experienced all of the above. Although I have never been asked why I do it, which maybe is an ultimate acceptance in itself. It’s funny, when I am out I have no compunction about talking to other women out of the blue … something I hardly ever do in male mode. I love the way it is written, read it several times!

    And I am sure that it will be a source of encouragement for others. Thanks!


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