I’ve mentioned that I am a member of a popular CD forum and there is a bit of Keystone talk going on there. I saw one comment that struck me and for me, completely underscored what I am all about and why change is slower than it should be.
Here is the comment I read: “It’s so empowering to walk into a restaurant with 20 to 30 (or more) other girls, and basically take over the place. As they say, “You got a problem with that?” You need to go to the bathroom and you walk into the ladies room like you own it! “You got a problem with that?”
I could not disagree more! This is our problem, sometimes we are our own worst enemies. First the attitude. That attitude fosters negative impressions of us. It does nothing to change people’s minds about us. Being ladylike, giving, loving, being happy, that makes the right impression. I speak from rather significant personal experience.
I use the ladies room. I do what I need to do and get out of there. I am respectful of others. I keep to myself. I’m not in there taking pictures and grandstanding. Storming the ladies room with that attitude will create many more problems than solutions.
“Taking over the place” (they are referencing a mainstream restaurant) again is not a solution. For me, going to a restaurant, acting like a lady, being treated like a lady and not being noticed by the masses is how we go about making changes.
We are quite often our own worst enemies. Being militant, being loud, being the center of attention only fortifies stereotypes. Think, please! It is undeniable that stereotypes exists and we must do what we can to break them down, not build them up. We owe it to those that paved the way for us and for those to come. When I make statements like this it is because I know, I am out a lot, hundreds and hundreds of times, in front of tens of thousands of people. I leave many with a very positive impression, so much so that months later I am told that they remembered me or that I was the best part of wherever I was working.
Walk a mile in my heels, see what I have seen and use your heads! Check the attitude at the door and act like a lady. Attitude feeds right into the public narrative.