I have edited an email sent from a friend here.
My motivation for expressing is seemingly different then yours. Mine is definitely driven by a strong feminine component. I do well in containing that pink fog and I always roll back around to the view point I’m a big jack ass for feeling feminine in the first place. It’s really been awful to be at war with yourself. Fortunately I’m not at war but I’m in a truce and I’m trying to figure the appropriate surrender terms so I can harmoniously enjoy all of me. I know I will get there. Have you deliberately said no I’m not going to do this today or a week? Essentially a CD fast.
I never really feel “feminine”, more like “pretty” I guess. I love my male side, but also love a female presentation and all that goes with it as I make my way out in the world. Also I enjoy the ability to allow my feelings to show, as we all know men have trouble doing.
Recently I challenged myself to a 16.5 mile trail race in what has turned out to be terrible weather. It rained all week so the trail was wet (very wet) and it was cold as well. I’d rather do that then wear a dress, but that has its limits too as I train to get better and better. Gender balance, I guess.
No CD fasting here. I don’t dress when it’s not a good time (like this past Easter weekend, no Kandi for about 2 weeks) and I no longer feel stress from it. Since this all has become part of my life, it’s like anything else in my life I do or don’t do for a period of time. To me, fasting from something is done because of a negative outcome, like putting on too much weight or drinking too much. Kandi is me and I am her and I am hurting absolutely no one and am in fact benefiting others, so I don’t put myself through that anymore. Honestly, I wish I could be more open about her, but the downside risk still outweighs any upside, so I blog away as a means of expressing myself.