Bridal Fitting No. 2

In June 2015, still on a high from my very first fitting as blogged about a bit ago, I called David’s Bridal and set set up another one.  This is me out the door.


Again, being very honest about my intentions (to not purchase), I had a ball!

Let’s start with the dress, of all the dresses I have tried on, I would wear for my big day!  It is perfect for me.  Beautiful and it hides my, shall we say, weaknesses….  Now let’s check out another one.

This little beauty also felt so right!  I was still early in my evolution, so the arms are not as we shall say, ladylike.

Here are the others, not right for me, but hey, they are wedding dresses after all!

Oh how I wish………



The Week That Was


My outfit for tending bar at Weathervane Playhouse last Thursday.  I thought it came together well and was so comfortable. One thing that pleases me to no end are small, subtle earrings that are prominent, like these and my last outing.  They just pop in a photo!

I wish there was more of a story, but not really.  I did a little cosmetic shopping at Walmart (wish it were more interesting) beforehand.  I did realize that I no longer even consider what I am wearing, I go where I want, when I want.

The following night I was also scheduled to tend bar again, but a big winter storm put an end to that!

It was Sunday so it was time for services.  The day before a cold waylaid me and it got worse on this day.  I ran some errands before church and then when I got to services, the cold began catching up with me.  I got through it, stepping out frequently and had to cancel my lunch plans afterward.  I headed home and got my workout in, but that was it for me.

I was rather proud of this simple outfit.  The skirt is cute and warm.  The turtleneck highlighted my best features.  I was very pleased with the pictures.  A great day even though I felt under the weather.

More excitement forthcoming this week!



Professional Makeover & Photo Shoot

Part 1

Girls, there is nothing more memorable than a professional makeover and photo shoot.  Nothing!  There are a few places scattered across the country and one of the best is located in Bethlehem, PA, True Colors Artistry and the amazing Amanda Richards.  Thankfully (for my wallet), it is a six hour drive there for me, so getting here is difficult or I’d probably be there quarterly.  The best money I have ever spent on myself (male or female), no question.

This makeover took place very early in my Kandi life, March 2015, but the pictures still remain precious to me.  A little backstory, when you get there she has all you need, outfits, makeup (of course), wigs, accessories, etc.  As I was new to the game, I really didn’t have an agenda with the exception of wanting some bridal shots.  I was there for over six hours and did four different outfits and shoots.  Every different “girl” is dressed differently, the makeup redone and the wig changed.  I could hang these pictures up in my home and no one would know it’s me.  So today, here is girl no. 1, our blushing bride.  Enjoy!

What This is Not…….

I have a Flickr page and I have to block about 70% of those that wish to follow me because they seem to have an interest in genetalia, showing theirs or seeing others.  Hey, we all have them but that is not what this is about for me.  This is about allowing my feminine side out, to share this gift with the world.  It is NOT about fetishes, it is not about dressing like a teenage hooker.  It’s not about sex at all.  It’s not about a vicarious thrill or breaking taboos.

It’s about people.  It’s about acceptance.  It’s about spreading love and particularly self-love (and not that kind…..).  If you do not love yourself, it becomes very difficult to love others.  It’s about helping others because I have been given so much.  It’s about showing the world that hey, we really aren’t so bad.  We are frankly more “normal” than many.  We understand both the male and female points of view.  I know I am more empathetic and far less judgmental now that I am able to let my feminine side out.  I have been told that I am sweet and you know what?  That is my goal and those complements fill me with pride.  So as you read my daily blog posts, understand what this IS, a place for those like myself to feel like they are not alone.  They are not to be marginalized or scorned.  Open up your mind and allow good people to be just that, good people.  This world needs each and every good person it has and even more.  Embrace the love, foster the goodness, accept good people regardless of their attire and let’s slowly make this a better place.  Ok, I’m off my soapbox!

Search For A Girl Guide

By Marie Greene

It took me a few weeks of frustration and missed starts before I came upon my “GIRL GUIDE.”  After several weeks of searching under various terms located the Web site of a Make-Up Artist who also did photo shoots a few hours away.  Made an appointment and began preparations including culling my wardrobe and purchasing a special outfit.  On my arrival day was met by the “artist”, an extremely friendly and lively woman who shortly, I would learn was totally understanding and highly supportive.  I was thrilled but also a little anxious as I entered this new world.  It was now time to get serious and name this budding feminine creature that was coming alive in me.

After a few minutes of chatting with a glass of wine in hand, I began the conversion from “Bruce” to Marie.  Shave, shower, dusting powder, wig, lingerie, and dressing gown followed by a full professional make-over.  Then we selected several outfits beginning with casual walking-out togs, moved to day dresses, then a stylish business suit, a wonderful cocktail number all with the appropriate jewelry, accessories, shoes and purses.  There were camera shots galore, some posed but many candid, as Marie transitioned from the casual afternoon shopping outfit through each of the progressively more feminine images.

I was in seventh heaven as someone coined ages ago.  We eventually graduated to an off the shoulder low bodice ball gown with matching shawl.  Did I tell you the background music during the journey evolved to match the mood setting of each outfit?  Totally enticed by this new and wonderful world changed back to a nice up-scale shopping outfit and departed for a light dinner at a warm, friendly and cozy restaurant.  The three of us – my guide’s husband had joined us for dinner. Then a walk along the lakeside boardwalk with the evening breeze gently blowing my skirt and caressing my well-rounded breasts with just a touch of cleavage showing.  The clicking of our heels was the musical backdrop.  The night was not over!! After Brad –the husband went back to work we girls headed to the Studio and another chapter of delight and femininity waited me although I was unaware at the time and due to the trance of euphoria I was in.  Nothing could be better I thought.  I proved to be delightfully incorrect.

Upon pulling up at the studio my “Girl Guide” suggested I take a leisurely “Soak” and she would be back in 45 minutes for another training lesson.  Before ascending the stairs to her studio, she chirped over her shoulder that I would find everything a lady needed in the bath off the studio and was welcome to avail myself of anything and everything.  She finishing up with the reminder she would be back in 45 minutes and expected to fine a perfectly smooth skinned and moisturized “Marie” waiting for another chapter in femininity.  With these cheerful directions ringing in my ears, I slipped off my heels dangled them in one hand and with purse in other flew up the broad stone steps.

As I entered the bath-suite, and that was what is was – the lights slowly came on and climbed to a pleasant pinkish hue and soft music filled the air.  I was stunned and captivated.  Taking one last-long look in the full-length wall mirror, I slowly removed the walking-out dining outfit carefully hanging it on a cushioned perfumed hangar.  There were several.  Each displaying a separate article of intimate apparel, including a short pink dressing gown, and a floor length black satin sleeping gown and matching black negligee.  Next to this mini-alcove was velvet covered cushioned stool.  On it laid a black bra and panty plus a pair of Barely-Black thigh highs. The tub had been half drawn and the water was barely warm, so on with the hot water tap turned full force and a bottle of bubble bath perched on the side. While waiting for the tub temperature to slowly climb to a comfortable level, another quick face cleaning and shave, then slid into the tub with its foaming delightful smelling blue liquid.  There was a small light pink tinted booklet – its title in exquisitely crafted in calligraphy – “How to be a Girl”.

Only a quick perusal was allowed as a mere twenty minutes were left before my hostess would return.  Gingerly stepped out of the porcelain tub and using the giant sized pink bath towel, dried and powered my smooth skin paying particular attention to my shoulders, throat and cleavage area. Then on with the lacey bra and equally lacey panties followed by carefully rolling the thighs highs up taking special care not to the cause a run in these gossamer encasements.  Then the black heels and the thigh length dressing gown.  Just as I was brushing my hair I heard the chimes from the studio door and the cheerful voice of my hostess calling my name –Marie are you decent -.  I quickly chirped back a positive reply and entered the Studio and took a seat in the makeup chair where my face again become a palette of femininity and if I may say so, when finished quite Glamorous.

Later as I stood in front of the full-length mirror once more, my hostess came behind me and wrapped a black satin and bone corset around my waist and began working the laces.  She had me turn way from the mirror as she was performing this piece of magic.  When finished she added a pearl necklace, matching dangling earrings, ring and bracelet to the fabulous cocktail dress we had found during our earlier shopping excursion.  A cloud of perfume from the Crown of my carefully casually brushed hair down to my now naturally enhanced cleavage. Then I was allowed to gracefully turn back to the mirror which she had now opened to it three full panels size.  A vision of femininity in spirit and body shown back.  I was flabbergasted at the level of artistry my hostess had achieved and absolutely taken back by MARIE ANNE.

More photos were snapped in the studio under different lighting and poses.  Lastly, I was guided to a nearby bed and directed to disrobe down to lingerie and verbally directed to strike several “GIRL” poses, while my hostess snapped pictures in a rapid suggestion.  She then exited the studio and before turning off the light wished me a night full of wonderful dreams.  Luxurious in the memories of the day and evening I drifted off to a restful sleep wondering what lay in the future for Marie.

I fully appreciated the total adventure into the world of femininity and I knew I would have to return to this part of life’s experience, however did not know when, how or if.

I Wish I Understood It

Why is this so addictive?  Why does it fill every empty space in my mind?  Before Kandi, I understood it or at least could intellectualize it.  Then it was only a dream, only a fantasy.  Now?  I go out frequently, I have done things I could never have even imagined, let alone be lucky enough to do.  Why can’t I escape it?  I am always thinking about what else I can do, what I haven’t tried yet, where I can go and just be Kandi (even though I have many of those places already).  I cannot imagine anything being as all-consuming (that doesn’t involve a chemical reaction in the body like alcohol or drugs).  That’s the challenge, not letting it consume you.

Maybe it’s the high I get when I buy a dress and it looks even better than I imagined?

Maybe it’s the thrill of walking through the mall, listening to my heels click…..MY heels!

Maybe it’s very naturally pulling my wallet out of my purse to pay for something?

Maybe it’s having spent 20 minutes or so doing my makeup before I realize I am doing my makeup?

Maybe it’s the way a blouse fits and how my breasts just transform my figure, further slimming me visually and I actually do look like a woman?

I hope I am being honest here and not just romanticizing but I cannot remember a moment when dressed that I have been unhappy.  I certainly have had some dud outings that fell short of my plans, but even on those outings I felt pretty or I looked cute or I just loved the way my skirt flared.

Maybe it was the “Hey girl” I got from a friend or the casual mention of what “she” said?

I have sought an alternative that gave me this adrenaline rush, gave me this level of inherent pleasure.  None exist.  There simply is no male equivalent.  Truthfully, in a world where I could be completely selfish, I would dress as a woman every day.  No, I really don’t wish to be a woman, I just love dressing as one (and acting like one and……ok I know….).  Women have it hard in this world.  I get the good parts without the bad parts.  But there is an argument my “bad part” is not being able to truly be myself for the vast majority of my life.  I savor memories from my outings, reliving them in my head, thinking of better ways to have done this or that.  I anticipate the next outing like I used to look forward to that last day of school as a kid.  I constantly seek ways to feminize myself without being obvious.  I have my brows waxed, my nails are generally female length, often with a clear coat of polish.  I am essentially hairless on a body that was essentially furry.  I love my freedoms and hate my continued secrets.  I guess I should have read the owner’s manual when I signed up for all of this.  No one told me it would be so joyous, yet so maddening, so life affirming, yet so frustrating.  No one explained how feeling pretty topped any high I have ever experienced.  I guess I am just waxing philosophic.  Maybe if I go and try on a dress for a few moments I’ll feel better or more likely I’ll feel like I need the red lipstick with that dress and this necklace and…. A girl’s work is never done!