Yet Another Big Weekend

Tonight is the North Coast Men’s Chorus 30th Anniversary Gala to be held in the beautiful Windows On The River facility in Cleveland’s Flats district.  It will be a big, festive affair and the perfect event for me.  I am wearing what I refer to as my “Simple Elegance” dress.  A lovely LBD, accessorized simply with strappy black pumps.  It’s just the most classic feminine look possible.  I get chills thinking about it!  The cherry on the sundae, my friend Sherry will be there tonight!  She wanted to get out and this will be a perfect place for her to do so, relaxed and without fear of being seen.

Tomorrow, our 30th anniversary concert is being held at the State Theater, in Cleveland’s historic Playhouse Square district.  Maureen McGovern (“There’s Got to be a Morning After”) is the feature performer.  I will be attired in a black, red and white dress I purchased new (yes, new, but on clearance, of course) a few months back.  I immediately identified it for this event.

Between the two events I get to be in two fabulous facilities in front of over a thousand people.  Pictures and stories to come!!!


Just Another Example

Tuesday we had our final organizational meeting for the Prom.  It was held in a local library and there was probably twelve of us in attendance.  A number of these people had never met me, two were men.  No one flinched or looked at me twice.  All just accepted me for who I am, without question.  I still often get called “he”, but honestly, while I do notice it, for me it means they really don’t mind this guy in makeup and a cute pair of skinny jeans.  It is never done derisively, I am sure in many instances I am the first person they have ever interacted with at length who is transgendered.  When I feel that I can do so, I correct them, but when it is in conversation with multiple people, I don’t want to embarrass anyone.

I kept it really simple that evening.  Stopped at Goodwill on the way to kill off a half hour (and pick up a cute Nike top!).  I was very happy with my presentation, loving the look and the feel of these jeans on freshly shaved legs!  Nothing like it, for sure!

Selfish Unselfishness

I know a blather on quite a bit about volunteering.  I know from significant personal experience, it is the single best way to get out dressed.  It is the single best way to be completely accepted.  It is the single best way to build your confidence.  Get the point?  I could go on and on, my point is any crossdresser wishing to experience being a woman, being accepted as a woman, should find that right fit to volunteer.

Here are the places I currently volunteer:

  • Three community theaters;
  • North Coast Men’s Chorus;
  • The Cleveland Museum of Art (CMA);
  • Museum of Contemporary Art, Cleveland (MOCA);
  • Great Lakes Science Center (GLSC);
  • A Prom to Remember;
  • Providence House;
  • Cleveland International Film Festival (CIFF);
  • Various one-off events; and
  • Greater Cleveland Volunteers (GCV).

I call this my selfish unselfishness.  The theaters provide me with various opportunities to take fashion risks.  They also allow me to meet really wonderful and accepting people.  The chorus allows me to really get dressed for an “event”, within a greatly accepting environment, and to make so many new and really appreciative friends.  It also gets me in a dress on Playhouse Square.  CMA is like nothing else, an evening in an unbelievable, world class facility, dressed to the nines or just really pretty, interacting with thousands of people (in an accepting environment).

MOCA allows me to really be sociable (that is actually the job) and dress “competitively”.  GLSC literally allows me to be the face of the facility when I am working and to get dressed in my best professional attire.  I have talked quite a bit about the Prom and what more can I say?  Helping teens with cancer….

I haven’t yet worked the CIFF, but I’ll get in front of many people, take fashion risks and probably see a cool flick or two!  I also look at events that I can get into and contribute, like Brite Winter which I recently posted about.  Finally GCV allows me to work various one-off events.  Last year I was the main greeter at a seed exchange (I cannot even explain what it was about, but it was well attended), I worked a Victorian tea party (and many of the ladies there saw me elsewhere, remembered me, and want me to return this year) and a plant sale where I again had a nice time and was well received.

Selfish (I get dressed, have a ball and get significant validation) unselfishness (giving of my time).  If you want to get out, this is the best way to do so!

A Simple Sunday



This is about as good as I can look.  I was very happy with the makeup (although I was a little thick on the brows), the outfit was spot on!  It’s hard to see here, but there is a little gold in the skirt, which ties in well with the turtleneck.  The necklace and earrings were perfect.  The blazer fit so well, everything all tied together on this day.  You just float through the day when you know you’ve put together a great outfit.

It was indeed a simple Sunday.  I got dressed and headed out a little early to run an errand.  I always like doing anything I can dressed, so I picked up a few items at Walmart, as well as some cosmetics.  Then I got to church early, which I really enjoy.  Our church is so wonderful in that many come early and chat.  I had quite a few great conversations and saw many of my cherished friends.  I received a few residual complements on my reading last week, as well as a few on my outfit.  I’m not sure where I’d be or really who I’d be without this church.  Certainly a much lesser person.

The service, as always, was great.  I stopped at Goodwill on the way home and didn’t buy a thing (a rarity)!  The day was beautiful, a rare cloudless sky and bright sunshine, with temperatures in the low 50’s.  You know what that means….  Went home, cleaned up, had a great seven mile run, whipped up dinner for my wife and I and, well, this!

Not a day goes by without me realizing how fortunate I am.

Top 10 Favorite Artist #8

Steely Dan, Donald Fagen and the late Walter Becker.  A very prolific band in the 70’s, much less so, although still top notch, since.  There is very little Fagen has ever done, including his marvelous solo work, that I have not liked very much.  They are well known for the meticulousness of how they approached their work together.  That is principally why the band, which was much larger when they started out, dwindled down to these two once they knew who they were and how they wanted their music to sound.

For years and years, they were simply a studio band, but this past decade, they have toured extensively with an outstanding big band.  I’ve seen them twice recently and really enjoyed each show.  This summer they are touring again, the first time since Becker’s passing.

Timeless, quality, witty. music that never feels dated and always draws me in.  When I was young, just learning about music and myself, I had a seventh grade teacher that played the band’s debut album “Can’t Buy a Thrill” for us.  Whenever I hear “Dirty Work” I actually feel like I am sitting in that desk, listening to it all over again for the first time.

The Mission Statement of Kandi’s Land

Love.  Love yourself, because without that, nothing else is possible.  Love others.  That’s the only way we move forward as a people, as a humane society.  Accept the love of others.  This was the hardest for me and what now fills me with joy and pride.  What makes every day, even bad days, so worthwhile.

Go out.  Represent.  Hold your head high and click those heels!  I know we all have life issues and there is nothing I can do about those.  We all have relationships that impact this one way or the other.  But if you can go out, but do not, you simply don’t know what you are missing.  Be smart.  Be appropriate.  Be confident.  It is, after all, your life!

Being positive and supportive, I will not buy into the ever present media narrative.  From Adam and Eve until, I am sure, the end of time, there will always be evil, there will always be hate.  If we succumb to that, guess what?  They win!  They should NEVER win.  Love wins, love turns the world.  Help out a sister.  Give her a complement.  Offer to talk.  Take her out that first time.  I’ve done all of that because all of that has been done for me.

Setting a positive example.  There is no secret here, I pass about as well as a three dollar bill.  But guess what?  I am accepted, I am actually one that others want to be with, want to be around, love.  Yep, lil’ old me!

You will never read anything political here.  Are there problems out there?  You bet, but the problems are not with one side or the other, one politician or the other.  If one choice is a bad one, it doesn’t mean the other is a good one.  The problem is with all of them, so see the first paragraph above for the only real solution.  This is all about being positive, I will not dwell in negativity.

The Science Center

Well, I am now a volunteer at the Great Lakes Science Center.  See……


So on Wednesday, I went to complete my orientation.  It was another sunny and snowy day, so I took the opportunity to wear a little skirt with tights, a look I love!  I don’t have much of a story on this day, but as always, it’s great to get out.  I reviewed all of the policies and missions of the Science Center with my “boss” and then watched the movie in the Dome Theater, a film on the Amazon.  It was a rare one stop outing for me as I headed directly home afterward.

I headed back on Friday to work my first shift at the information desk.  We have a dress code, which I would basically call business casual.  I recently picked up this cute wool skirt, so I wanted to get out in it before spring finally hits, if ever!  I do love my pink.

As an aside, I will say that I have been pretty pleased with my close-ups of late (or you would never see them!).  I am by no means attractive, but I can see a comfort with myself in these photos, which makes me happy.

I worked a four hour shift and I have to be honest, most of the day was boring.  The facility was not that busy but I had a few interesting moments.  One little girl, probably five, asked me why I talked “that way”.  I smiled and told her that’s the voice I was born with.

I spoke with quite a few out-of-towners.  The NCAA wrestling championships were in town and a few came over from that.  No one looked at me as anything other than a pleasant person answering questions.  I got quite a few thank yous and smiles.  I am looking forward to doing this in the summer.  The Science Center is next door to the Rock Hall and a beautiful harbor-front park.  I can’t wait to wear a sundress and spend some time in that area when it’s warm!